Nick's Friends

Moving back to Charlotte from Kannapolis
Looks that way.
I hate how Landlady's personal financial drama and such has crossed over into whether or not we're able to keep the house ourselves. Suddenly, the rent will go up a ridiculous amount from what we were paying, and there will be a sign on the front lawn by February 15th. Then I find that James and my mom have conferenced and decided we are definitely moving, vs the possible option of having room mates in the house we currently live in, to fix the problem. Meanwhile, I feel things are finalized (more or less) in James's mind concerning our situation, while all I can do is sit back and watch things happen because I can't help financially. I can't STAND feeling like I'm just going along for the ride while everything swirls around me and everything is dropped in my lap and seems to be happening at once. I certainly do not like the idea of having room mates again, considering how James is very particular about having his personal space (i.e.- it affects his mood swings), and I have enjoyed having the freedom of "just us" as a young couple building our lives together. NOT building our lives together +1 or +2 in a 2 or 3 bedroom house, and ever worrying about bothering someone by being too noisy, by running around nude, or having to try to avoid listening to someone jabber on about stupid shit when they won't shut up but I feel like I have to sit there and be polite about it.

After I get past all these fantastically FRUSTRATING details, I should be happy, you know? It's easier to live in Charlotte vs the not-as-populated not-as-cosmopolitan Concord/Kannapolis area. But somehow I'm just so... GRRRGH! I can't seem to shake it. I don't want to think that being with James will mean we move somewhere every year or so. So far, that's the record. I want to SETTLE somewhere for awhile. Never mind the fact that moving itself is a total pain in the ass, but I just want to know where I belong, feel and build a sense of home, of belonging, and work upon it, build a cozy little nest. I ain't buildin' NOTHIN' right now. This blows.

I'm trying to be patient, understanding, go with the flow of things, just let 'em go, but it's difficult. The whole situation is grating on me, and I can't do anything but sit back and watch. Mom and I just today have already looked around at houses around the east side of Charlotte, and she's so excited to be getting her baby back. I want to share in her enthusiasm for the sake of family and the love I feel for them, but I'm not quite there yet. Maybe once we actually get to take a look at the inside of some of these places we browsed, I'll get more excited. I think the most grating thing for me right now is the room mate issue.

Things could always be worse...? :\ I guess I'll just have to get over it, but a rant was needed, just to vent for awhile, though it solves nothing.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Dad's HAM Radio behind me, and Bev's snoring in the living room

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